Marriage is work!!!

10-7-2010:

Okay, so people think I have a perfect marriage! I wonder if my first post influenced on that thought?lol

My marriage is far from being perfect, by the way there are NO perfect marriages.....only good ones. Do I love my husband?...Heck yeah! I adore him, but I could get a little frustrated by him sometimes!!!!

How ever the reason why we have a good marriage and have been able to be together for 5.5 years is because we put as much work into our relationship as we do to our carreer choice or ourselves.

Marriage is work!!!

10-28-2013:

I came across this blog, which was under draft and never finished writing it. Not long after I started writing that my then husband and I separated and we are now divorce.

I have learned and grown up so much since then. Not being with him also made me appreciate him more and made me realized that I worked too hard for it to make it work. Though Marriage is work, there is such a certain amount of work that should be going into it and that is the amount of work that you desire to put into it. 

There comes to a point that you stop and think how you got where you are now and try to figure out what when wrong to only realize that the things that are bothering you today have always been there only that you accepted this person with those flaws.

See,  I now believe that once that state in the begining of the relationship where you feel like you can't live without that person is gone.....that feeling where you need to be with that person 24/7 and can't stop thinking of him etc. Once that is gone, you can see clearly and at that point you have no options; by the way this is also when you start fighting a lot. Your two options are; Analize his good qualities against the flaws and see if it's something you are willing to accept because I am telling you right now MAN DO NOT CHANGE! unless they do it for them selves, or the opttion is to walk away and move on.

I chose to move on.

My ex husband had "one" flaw I couldn't work thru, everything else was workable. That flaw was lying, over the littlest stupidest and meaningless thing. But I always told myself if he lies over little things, how would I know if he'd tell me the truth over something more serious.  I loved him and honestly thought we would grow old together but the same loved slowly died because neither of us were mature enough to handle the situation well and I wasn't willing to keep making myself miserable for the rest of my life.

I don't know if my way of thinking is wrong or right, wether I would regret it or not but one thing is for sure wether I die tomorrow or in my nineties I am determined to be happiness and be with a man that values me for what I am , who is able to look at me in the eye and only speak the truth, who respects me, treats me like a queen and knows how to show me he loves me. 

I won't settle for nothing less, so yes marriage is work and so is relationships but the most important thing we need to remember is that what we allow will continue.....