Bullying....

Bullying at work??? 

We hear it happening at school but guess what! it also happens at work. 

This blog is for those whom have felt victims emotionally, or mentally of bullying at work by their peers and do not know what to do about it.

First, let's define Bullying. Based on a Business Journal Robin Bond wrote ;

"Bullying" can be simply defined as repeated behavior from superiors, subordinates or jealous peers that is intended to demean, humilate or intimidate an individual

I also found it interesting that studies show that even though bullies can be male 77% of bullying victims are women and that women target other women 80% of the time!

I am writing this blog from my perspective; which it's the girl whose been talked about. This is only based on my personal experience and opinion. Hopefully you could gain something from it and keep your inner peace in not letting it affect your state of mind or the way you perform at work.

It is imperative to not feed into this type of behavior and have it very clear in your mind that "Others do NOT Determine Your Self Worth."  

Even though I have experienced this back in Elementary School a decade ago, one can never get used to being demean by others. I was a victim of Bullying back in school and though it never got to the degree of getting beat up, I did have threats and there was a time the agressor followed me in between classes insulting me and decribing all kinds of horrible ways she will beat me up. I never turned to confront her, I would just keep walking as if I didn't hear anything mainly to NOT get beat up. Call me a wuss but sometimes the stronger ones are actually the ones that walk away instead of engaging yourself in a situation you can later regret.

I could put time and effort into talking to every single person she's spoken to and proving them wrong. 

I could do nothing and just let it take away my confidence, feel down and sorry for myself or even become what they are saying I am ; 

or I could take control over the only thing I have control over "ME" and turn it into something positive. 

FIRST: Compete, Compete, Compete and never stop competing. But the ONLY person you need to compete with is YOURSELF. Let other's waste their time competing with you and their energy talking about you. You need to keep pushing yourself if you aren't already doing so. Compete with yourself to be better than you are, true happiness comes when you see progress, and the only way you could see progress is by seeing change. You determine change by raising your standards and staying focus. Set your self goals, find your gift,  contribute, know who you are and be that person no matter what.

SECOND: Do the things you love to do, travel, write, read, jog, get a massage,  pedicure, go to dinner with your friends, go to the movies, meet people that challenge and stimulate your mind, learn to enjoy your alone time , take care of yourself, know that it is okay to feel any emotion you want to feel, wether happy, sad, upset there is no such thing as the wrong emotion and value yourself as a person. Love God, Love your family and friends but most important LOVE YOUR SELF, Have self respect, and boundaries so you can have inner peace.

                                      

THIRD: Don't give a shit what others say! Imperfection is Individuality, you may be different than others and other may think of it as weird or look at it as a threat because you stand out wether it's because of your beauty or how easy going you are. It doesn't matter, there will be jealous people out trying to fit in with others and go about it the wrong way. Some people think that they are bonding or creating a new buddy or are involved when they demean someone else. Perhaps they have a false sense of looking better if they bring you down. Perhaps they need to be accepted by their peers but on the other hand you know that you don't need to talk about anyone else to bring yourself up so let it be, focus on yourself and if others choose to also focus on you then you must be pretty fabulous!

I shared this because it would be so easy to loose yourself into  rumors, bullying or you can even call it harassment to some extent. These are people that can do some serious mental or emotional damage to you and you need to understand that they could, only if you let it. Be smarter and stronger buy shifting the attention and keeping it on you. Other's don't determine yourself worth.

I hope I made you smile ;)

Zoila Luz.